Joke Thread

[IceDevice]

Post your jokes here!
No kid jokes like "Knock Knock! Who's there? Your inevitable death." or something.

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I saw the third guy come out of the jungle with fucking pineapples."

[Fizaro]

Man 1: Knock knock
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Anal
Man 2: Ugh.... Anal who?
Man 1: Ew (Walks away)

[blackeyeddog]

There was a king and he had a daughter he then invited 3 princes to his kingdom he told the 3 princes to go get as many ping pong balls as the can. Who ever gets the most gets to marry the princess.

The 1st prince goes out and goes back with 200 ping pong balls and shows the king. The king is impressed.

The 2nd prince comes back and shows the kings 350 ping pong balls the king is more impressed and the 1st prince is sent away.

The 3rd prince comes back bleeding with ripped clothes half alive carry 2 HUGE balls. The king is shocked. He says to the 3rd princes and says I SAID PING PONG BALLS NOT KING KONG'S BALLS.

[freakboy31]

Once upon a time, the king comes up with a joke.

They laughed.

[Kles266]

What do you call two hispanic's playing basketball?
Juan on juan! you see what i did there.

[amazingandy1]

Nice joke blackey

[blackeyeddog]

Thx haha known that since I was like 8 haha